Guide FUNNY STORIES & JOKES FROM THE INTERNET

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  1. It's not just the way you tell 'em: researchers find the official 50 funniest jokes of all time
  2. 25 of the Funniest Jokes on the Internet
  3. Trending articles
  4. 52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever | Bored Panda

Veteran comic Frank Carson has probably tried them all. A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been hailed in a survey as the funniest gag ever. Researchers scoured the web and examined more than 1, jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 on which 36, people voted. Other jokes to make the top 20 include a string of brilliant one-liners - and digs at wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners. A quarter-century after his death comedy hero Tommy Cooper makes a strong showing in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay, Lee Evans and Canadian comic Stuart Francis.

We have listed the entire Top 50 one-liners below, but for quickfire comedians in a hurry here are the top three:. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!

She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me! Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you. The study was carried out after a panel of eight comic critics voted the holiday joke by Tim Vine brother of TV presenter Jeremy Vine the best of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. His winning one-liner was: 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again. A spokesman for www.

It's not just the way you tell 'em: researchers find the official 50 funniest jokes of all time

Comedian Tim Vine smashed the world record for most jokes told in an hour with , beating the previous record of He held the record until May when Australian comedian, Anthony Lehmann squeezed in gags. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it. I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw. I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. He said "Eurostar? If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone! A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster.

That's what I bought the buggers for! You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out! I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.

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25 of the Funniest Jokes on the Internet

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. GoldenScarab Report.

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Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Inga is a List Curator at Bored Panda. She is a Creative Industries graduate and has a Bachelor's degree in Communication.

This panda's mission is to find and cover perfect topics which would satisfy our readers' curiosity, kill the boredom, or simply make them laugh. As the topics of her lists are so broad, so is Inga's personal preferences. She loves dogs but can't resist snuggling a cat, she likes creepy docuseries but also cute animated movies like Zootopia, her music taste varies from Indie Rock to Pop and Rave, she likes relaxing crafts, yet she usually spends her evenings dancing.

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52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever | Bored Panda

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After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.


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Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift? The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here" '.