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  1. It's not just the way you tell 'em: researchers find the official 50 funniest jokes of all time
  2. 25 of the Funniest Jokes on the Internet
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  4. 52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever | Bored Panda

Veteran comic Frank Carson has probably tried them all. A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been hailed in a survey as the funniest gag ever. Researchers scoured the web and examined more than 1, jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 on which 36, people voted. Other jokes to make the top 20 include a string of brilliant one-liners - and digs at wives, husbands, blondes and foreigners. A quarter-century after his death comedy hero Tommy Cooper makes a strong showing in the list, which also includes gags by Peter Kay, Lee Evans and Canadian comic Stuart Francis.

We have listed the entire Top 50 one-liners below, but for quickfire comedians in a hurry here are the top three:. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!

She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me! Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you. The study was carried out after a panel of eight comic critics voted the holiday joke by Tim Vine brother of TV presenter Jeremy Vine the best of this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival. His winning one-liner was: 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again. A spokesman for www.

It's not just the way you tell 'em: researchers find the official 50 funniest jokes of all time

Comedian Tim Vine smashed the world record for most jokes told in an hour with , beating the previous record of He held the record until May when Australian comedian, Anthony Lehmann squeezed in gags. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it. I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw. I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bisatchel. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. He said "Eurostar? If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone! A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster.

That's what I bought the buggers for! You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out! I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.

25 of the Funniest Jokes on the Internet

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. GoldenScarab Report.

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Error occurred when generating embed. Please check link and try again. Inga is a List Curator at Bored Panda. She is a Creative Industries graduate and has a Bachelor's degree in Communication.

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52 Of The Funniest Two-Line Jokes Ever | Bored Panda

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After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

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Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift? The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here" '.